Testing God 35 - Who's In Control Here, Anyway?

It seems almost surreal to me that I have just watched someone’s last conscious moments on planet earth captured on video. That through the use of slow-motion photography, I can see the moment in World Trade’s stride where the first leg actually snapped. That I now watch, horrified, as his momentum throws all his weight from the broken limb onto another leg, which also snaps like a twig in the wind. The tremendous propulsion carries the horse onward a few more strides on ragged shards of bone until he finally pitches forward and rolls, head over heels, crushing Mike underneath his half-ton body.

As I noted before, on the lead is a bad place to be thrown to the ground with the rest of the field a split second behind with no place to go but over you.

From the camera angle, it’s hard to see exactly what transpired with the horses in the rear, but Mark Johnston’s horse, too close behind the fallen leader to avoid collision, can be seen tumbling over the downed horse and rider. Another horse, farther back, unseats its rider as well. As the camera follows the race to its conclusion at the wire, Mark’s horse and the other one can be seen galloping riderless across the finish line.

At the same time, two riders lay motionless on the backstretch—one fatally and one severely injured. As I write this, it occurs to me just how ridiculous it is for us to think, even for one second, that we are in control of anything, really.

Ironically, I am composing this blog today while sitting at the training center where Jerry works each morning on the starting gate. It is a gorgeous spring morning—perfect, really. Blue sky, cool-ish temps and a mist hanging over the racetrack that gives an ethereal feel to the morning. I have been concentrating so hard on my composition that the siren that goes off whenever a loose horse is on the track startles me.

I look up to see the gate crew, Jerry included, and several other bystanders crowded around a rider who was dropped as his horse left the starting gate. Apparently the stirrup leather came off, throwing the fellow off backwards to land squarely on the back of his head.

As I approach the crowd, I see the rider helped to his feet. After dusting himself off and taking a couple steps, he collapses again, eyes rolling and beginning to convulse. The track EMT calls for backup and the rider is sent off to the hospital. And I pray. Hard. For my husband and everyone in this dangerous line of work. And most of all for the world to come to know the One that is in control--always.

Daily Notes: It’s been over two months since the last blog entry. I suppose more than a few of you are wondering if I’ve gotten as out of whack with my tithing as I have with my posting. Well, I can honestly report that although my attendance at church has suffered through the spring months, I have faithfully continued to tithe. I write the checks as I make deposits, so that I can keep everything straight. Then as I’m passing by our church I can drop them off.

If I’m being honest, I have often found myself wondering if God is “delaying my harvest,” because it sure seems to me that way more money is going out right now than is coming in. But I understand that of course there is going to be a period of serious testing—how else will I know that I’ve truly changed my perspective? It only stands to reason that there needs to be a time of “walking the walk.”

Even while I’m looking at the somewhat dismal bottom line in Quicken, I am reminded of all the blessings that occur daily that are not 'cold hard cash' in nature.

My good friend has shared a part time gig with me that will help fill an expected monetary void when our filly, The Unbelievable’s little sister, goes into training June 1st. All the pregnant ladies on the farm (a client’s mare and our two goat ladies) had uneventful deliveries and birthed healthy, wonderful babies. The client’s mare has just this morning been confirmed back in foal on the first cover (woo hoo!) I have wonderful friends and family in my life, and while I don’t have everything I want, I have everything I need and more. I will work harder at developing an attitude of gratitude, and remember in everything to say a heartfelt “Thanks, God!”

Since I spoke of all the new babies on the farm, I thought you all would like to see Terry The Terror's (yes, that's her registered name!) colt, born March 22. We call him Gizmo. Or The Giz.